Tales of an Anxious Soul

***Trigger Warning*** For whatever reason, I’m still connected to the North Star page. Some of you may be familiar with them. They have been affiliated with conversion therapy in the past. These days they don’t send people to conversion therapy necessarily but the beliefs are still similar to conversion therapy. I have mentioned before that just being in the LDS church is a form of conversion therapy and here’s why. They talk about gender identity and sexuality as if they are addictions. You can be a fully active believing member of the LDS church if you continue to suppress the part of you that straight mormons deem sacred for themselves. Their heterosexuality is sacred. It defines their eternal existence. Your gayness is fake though. Your queerness is a trial given to you to overcome so please turn it off like a light switch and live a sad lonely existence, so Mormon God can be happy with you. I can’t imagine still being involved with that page like I wa...

I am new to this whole blogging concept but I don't know any other way to get my thoughts across clearly. As many of you may know, I am currently and have been for a while now preparing to serve an LDS mission. whether that's a service mission or a full time mission it doesn't matter. It's a mission no matter what. It has been an interesting journey for sure. When I first began seriously considering serving a mission I had expressed past feelings of anxiety, depression,  and yes some minor self infliction as well as using substances to numb the pain. While these things at the time were somewhat under control I was directed to LDS family services, to go through some assessments to see if I was in the position to be away for a whole two years. After taking a series of tests. I met with the counselor and we discussed it may be best if I wait a little bit and perhaps move out of my parents house so I could work on managing my stress and anxiety levels. I'm going to b...