Tales of an Anxious Soul

***Trigger Warning*** For whatever reason, I’m still connected to the North Star page. Some of you may be familiar with them. They have been affiliated with conversion therapy in the past. These days they don’t send people to conversion therapy necessarily but the beliefs are still similar to conversion therapy. I have mentioned before that just being in the LDS church is a form of conversion therapy and here’s why. They talk about gender identity and sexuality as if they are addictions. You can be a fully active believing member of the LDS church if you continue to suppress the part of you that straight mormons deem sacred for themselves. Their heterosexuality is sacred. It defines their eternal existence. Your gayness is fake though. Your queerness is a trial given to you to overcome so please turn it off like a light switch and live a sad lonely existence, so Mormon God can be happy with you. I can’t imagine still being involved with that page like I wa

When I was still believing that I had to be LDS to be happy and full of joy, I was trying to think of any way possible that I could have kids as an LGBTQ individual and have them sealed to me or my family. I came up with the crazy idea of having my parents adopt my kids. That way my kids would be able to be sealed to my parents, and since I was still a member of the church they would in a way be sealed to me. If I was married to a guy who was also Mormon then we would in a wa y be sealed, because you aren't just sealed to your immediate family. Since everyone is connected, everyone who becomes sealed is in a way sealed as this large "eternal family" This was my "loophole" since I would not be allowed in the temple if I was married to someone that I love. Love is only possible between one man and one woman in the LDS gospel.  I remember calling my mom when I came up with this grand plan. Looking back I am grateful for her response. I think she had become ver