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Saturday, November 5, 2016

God is Not Mormon

Dear church members, and leaders

A year ago today I didn't want to go home. A year ago today I showed up to my best friends house in a drunken stupor. A year ago I stayed the night with my best friend Lindsay. A year ago today I learned that when I get married, my kids will have no place, no purpose in a church I believed to be true. A year ago I was defined as an apostate by men who don't know me one bit. A year ago today I wanted so badly to end my life because I had no idea what direction to go. What was the point? A year ago I lost whatever respect I had left for the leaders of the church. A year ago I began the journey of finding myself for the very first time. I had grown up believing what I was told was true, what I was told to believe. I was so sheltered. So naive.

In a way, I'm thankful the leaders excluded me. I'm thankful to have distanced from my old belief system. My mind has been opened so much to the world. I am so blessed to be able to be a free thinker. Sometimes my thoughts are a little ahead of our time because there is still so much closed mindedness, hatred, ignorance, and bigotry in the world. I think it will improve with time though. I have found myself among the people that Christ would have been with if he was on the earth. He walked with the unwanted. He comforted those who were shunned and pushed away. He was with the black sheep, the ugly ducklings. I have been so blessed to be with these people. Be one of these people. I may not mean very much to the church or the leaders of the church but I know where I stand with MY God. They will never take that away from me or anyone else.

As extremely odd as it sounds, I am very thankful for this policy now more than ever. It has forced me to think for myself and not rely on the thoughts, words, and opinions of men with 20th century mindsets. Thank you church leadership for showing me there is more to life. I may be an apostate to you and your church, but I'm not an apostate to God.

Proud Apostate of the Church <3