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Showing posts from 2014

Stigma Shmigma

I have been thinking a lot lately about the stigmas there are that go along with being a member of the LDS faith.   For us males, we get the priesthood at 12 years old. Once we are 12 there is a sort of responsibility that is placed on us. Typically we are to be in scouts, eventually get our Eagle. When we turn 14 we move up in the priesthood from Deacon to Teacher.   When we turn 16 we become a priest. By now we are typically supposed to be preparing for a mission. I love that the church encourages the guys to go on missions. Missions are amazing and life changing for those who are able to go on them that is. I think up until recently I was feeling down and depressed about going on a mission because I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle that pressure. Especially dealing with the same gender attraction.   Too many times there are guys who come home early due to depression, or anxiety, or even slipping up with their same sex attraction. I was so paranoid about one of these happening to m

The "Gay" Box in a Room Full of Other Boxes

Why do we as humans categorize each other into different groups? It has always fascinated me that some people have to refer to others by their race, religion, sexual orientation, political views, etc. Why is that? In high school I got put into the "gay" box, just like some people get put into the "black" box,  "democrat" box, "wheelchair" box, and many others? Why is it so offensive sometimes? I feel, the reason it is offensive or belittling is because it shouldn't matter. Who cares if someone is Black, Mexican, or Asian? Who cares if someone is gay, straight, asexual, bi-sexual, transgender, or any other? That is so ludicrous. Saying any of these things or categorizing anyone by these groups sounds just as ridiculous as saying someone is "human". I was hurt and offended in high school because I wasn't completely gay. If anything, I considered myself more bisexual and I hadn't even talked to people about my attractions. Peop

Parents are everything, and forgivness of those who have wronged you is possible.

Dear Everybody, I realize that in my last post, I did not give the necessary credit to my parents. This process has been very emotional, and a big learning experience for my whole family and I. My parents I have learned are my biggest cheerleaders. I should have known that before, but due to my own stubborn way of thinking and over analyzing I thought they wouldn't like the idea of me being so open about these struggles. I couldn't have been further from the truth. I had an amazing conversation with each of them separately yesterday and was able to explain why I had those uncertain thoughts before. I seriously could not have asked for better parents. Sure this is a lot for them to wrap their minds around. They have their own emotions they have to go through and figure out as do I with my emotions. They as parents naturally think of ways they could have prevented various things from happening and ways they could have protected me from people at school, my negative thoughts,

Not Fitting the Mormon Mold

I am new to this whole blogging concept but I don't know any other way to get my thoughts across clearly. As many of you may know, I am currently and have been for a while now preparing to serve an LDS mission. whether that's a service mission or a full time mission it doesn't matter. It's a mission no matter what. It has been an interesting journey for sure. When I first began seriously considering serving a mission I had expressed past feelings of anxiety, depression,  and yes some minor self infliction as well as using substances to numb the pain. While these things at the time were somewhat under control I was directed to LDS family services, to go through some assessments to see if I was in the position to be away for a whole two years. After taking a series of tests. I met with the counselor and we discussed it may be best if I wait a little bit and perhaps move out of my parents house so I could work on managing my stress and anxiety levels. I'm going to b