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Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Love is Not Rocket Science

Recently I received a message from someone in my old singles ward. I thought that it was a question a lot of people may be wanting to ask me and I think I have an answer to it (at least what I think at the moment) I figured it would be good to post the question on here and answer it for all of you to see just in case multiple people have the same thought. Here is the message I received "I've noticed a couple times you have posts in regards to how you hope the church builds a better connection with the LGBT community. In your own words, what exactly do you think Mormons are lacking understanding on and you want to see improved? I know it can be hard to interpret tones in messages so just know this a sincere question. I'm not typing this with a sneer on my face."

I know in the past I have voiced how I felt that the church should be more accepting of gay individuals. At the moment it will take a while to fix the hurt that is in the church right now. I have placed my hope and connection towards groups of active members of the church who have sons and daughters or friends who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning. It may be hard for people to comprehend, but it is possible to be an active member of the LDS church who holds a temple recommend and at the same time be fully supportive of your friends and family who are LGBTQ. Sadly there are people in the church who are so against the thought of being loving and accepting of others that they feel if people support us then they must not be very good Mormons or Christians when in reality its the exact opposite. I wouldn't necessarily say that a Mormon life is for me, or that I enjoy going to LDS church, because I don't. That one statement right there is grounds enough for me to be deemed an "apostate" and maybe have disciplinary council and/or be excommunicated but it's only a matter of time before I am excommunicated no matter what because when I get married, I will be. For those who don't know what the word "apostate" means, basically if you stop believing the teachings of the church, or you turn away from principles you have been taught then you have "turned away from God". My mental well being is at stake here. Why would I keep putting myself in a position that constantly has negative effects on me. What if I never stopped believing and it was more of a "I'm too scared to tell people how I really feel type of thing" I mean I was basically an apostate my whole life since I was always crushing on boys in elementary school, I wanted to kiss them, and hell! I even did kiss a few. I don't want things in the church to change or improve for my sake. I just worry and hope the best for those who have families that are particularly conservative. Love your kids! Love is not conditional. If you kick your kids out for being gay, did you really ever love them? I want the church to be a safe place for this generation. If people are wanting to find ways for the church to work in their lives then that is up to them, but I hope that the church as a whole can be more loving and stop focusing on ways to push people away with these "policies". I think one thing the church leadership could think about is not making it so scary for men, women, and kids to come out. Granted the whole church is based off of gender roles and the roles of a mom and dad, but instead of immediately wanting to fix, or shove people back in the closet, maybe try and understand us. Stop making us feel like we are a disease.

The church has definitely come a long way from where it used to be. After all, the leaders used to preach that any homosexual thoughts or feelings were sinful all together. So basically we as humans were doomed. Bishops used to send people to "Conversion Therapy" which is basically a failed and damaging attempt to try and "turn" someone straight. It took time but they finally realized that was damaging, along with recommending gay men to marry women and that would "fix" them. Yes I am aware that people are still doing this but that is their own choice. Bishops have stopped recommending a "cure". I know there are people who hate when LGBT rights in the church are compared to black rights but it took the church so many years to finally come around to allowing black men to receive the priesthood, and that was eventually apologized for. Who knows, maybe that will be the future for my LGBT Mormon brothers and sisters. Not receiving the priesthood or any rights necessarily but maybe just a nice apology and non damaging tools for families to have access to. The church does have tools already, but nobody really talks about them. I heard that the church may begin teaching more acceptance. I hope that is true for this generation, so they can have the best life they are able to. There is no need to keep repeating the past. 

I hope this answered some questions people may have had. I probably offended some people but it is what it is. Some people may be sad because of my views but that's because we are conditioned in the church to feel sad for those who "stray" away, or have thoughts that challenge beliefs. Lets stop pushing people away and be more open minded, loving, accepting, and Christlike if you believe in Him. If not, that's OK. Just be a decent human being! This isn't rocket science.  

Until next time,

Zac <3